Lost and Found.

I am a very careless girl. I have this habit of leaving things behind carelessly. I have always left behind something or the other in every place I have been. But what surprises me is that I find everything I have lost somehow. Some kind person either sends it back to me  or I find it myself accidentally. Here is one such an incident that I would want to share with you.

I once lost my mobile in an ATM in BTM Layout. I kept it on the ATM machine, took the money and left. I forgot to take my mobile from there. I had missed my last bus to office by then and I decided to go by auto. I took an auto along with a fellow infoscion who was standing with me, to Electronics city after having argued with the auto driver about the excess fare. I insisted that he charged me what the meter shows at the end of my ride and I won the argument. I was happy. I started a conversation with the girl who was with me in the auto. She was Archana and a fresher who joined very recently to Infosys.

On my way to office in the auto, I was thinking about what I must do at office. I realized that I had to call one of my team mates for an update. I searched my mobile and at once I realized that I had left it in the ATM. I did not panic. I thought I will reach office and give my mobile a ring. If the mobile is switched off I would never get it back and if my mobile rang I would at least have some hope to get it back again.

When Archana saw me searching my bag she asked what was wrong. I told her that I had lost my mobile and I was searching for it and I also told her where I left the mobile. She gave me her mobile and said “You better call up and find out if its still there or somebody might take it and sell it.” Yes, there are many cell phone thefts and most of my friends have lost their mobiles at least once. That’s when I felt very bad that I had lost it and started to think that I might never find it again. All the sweet messages from friends that I had got, I lost them to some greedy thief who would make some money out of my mobile. :(.

I took Archana’s mobile and dialed my number. The phone rang and I was relieved to think that it wasn’t in wrong hands. Most of the times when you are positive about certain things, there are very less chances that they will turn out to be negative. I was smiling already like I got back the mobile! The phone was ringing and someone did answer the phone. It was a guy who would probably be in his mid twenties. He did sound young really, not that I wanted the voice to be a young man’s voice ;).

Me : “Hello ?”
Him : “Hello ???” (Such was his expression)
Me : “Hello, that’s my mobile that you are having.” No, I wasn’t rude. I just did not know what to tell him.
Him : “Madam, do you know where you left the mobile?”. Smart man. He wanted to confirm that it was me!
Me : “I left in in the ATM opposite Jayadeva flyover in BTM layout. I left it in the first ATM machine.”
Him : “Yes. You are very careless. I got in next, I saw you going. How can you leave your cell like that? ” How boring! How can I not leave it somewhere? Its natural for me to forget things. I at once thought this man is an old man may be in his mid forties.
Me : “Where can I come and collect it?”. I was not impressed by his question so I did not want to answer him. I just wanted to end the conversation and collect my mobile.
Him : “I am Saravanan. You can come to national games village to collect your mobile in the evening before 5.30”.
Me : “Fine. I will call you back later when I leave. Thanks” That was when I actually thanked him. That was very courteous of me!

I was relieved and gave the mobile back to Archana. I was sure that I would get my mobile back. I got down at electronics city and went in to my workplace relieved, without any tension. Well, I was never tensed. The thought of losing my mobile did disturb me only for one reason. It had a lot of sweet messages from friends that I cherish. I would never want to lose them.

I went inside my ODC and told my colleagues that I had lost my mobile and also that its with one guy named Saravanan and he would give it to me in the evening. One of my colleagues asked me “Where must you meet him in national games village?”. That’s when I realized that I did not know any detail about the person apart from his name and I did not even take his mobile number! I was tensed this time because I was once careless and lost my mobile and for the second time I wasn’t serious enough to collect details about the person who offered to return my mobile. I was dumb.

I called back to my mobile again and it was switched off this time. I was taken aback and felt very bad. I cursed myself for being careless.  I waited for ten minutes and then called again. The phone rang and he answered. Phew! What a relief! I need not call myself careless anymore. Lucky was the right word!

He told me that he works for Oracle, the one opposite Christ college and that I must come there by 7.30 PM to take my mobile. This time I took his mobile number. Smart me! He said “Madam, you are getting a lot of calls so I am switching your mobile off.”. I said “Fine Saravanan, no problem. I will see you at 7.30.”. Like, I am doing him a favour by meeting him!! What attitude!!

In the evening, I along with my best friend Vinu, went to the oracle office and stood In front of the gate. I wanted to give him a call. I asked Vinu for her mobile and she said “You can take it but make it fast since my balance is low.” I sighed and cursed her for her pre paid account. I called him and he said he would come down and this time I did not bother to ask him as to how I can recognize him! Yes, I am always this thoughtful. There were many people who were walking in and out of the gate. I was irritated by my carelessness this time for sure. Vinu was like “I don’t have balance. Grrrrrrrrr”. We called him again and he stood there smiling at us. He called “Vasumathi?”. I smiled and said “You have my mobile.” I finally got my mobile back and thanked him. These were the last things he told me “Madam, unga mobile rumba azhukka irukku, clean pannunga. Clean a irundhirundha mattun naa vithuttiruppen.” He walked into his office. We had a good laugh and I was very happy that I got my mobile back. He was a smart young man indeed!

For me he was a Deiva magan who was kind enough to safe guard my priced possession. God bless him.

Friend, I miss you!

Relationships have an expiry date. Friendships have an expiry date. Really? I guess I have to accept the bitter truth about relationships now. I have always believed that relationships cant change, they just go into the dark for sometime and then when you want them back they are there. But I was wrong!

Yesterday I had this very long conversation with an old friend of mine, a friend from school. We hadn't spoken in ages! 

Old friends are like angels. I don't know why I say that, but there is something about them and the way they make me feel that makes me say that. May be because they make me feel like a child and take me back to times I can never go back to otherwise? May be.

I asked my friend why he was not keeping in touch with me regularly. I keep asking the same thing every time I speak to him. I value his relationship and it really matters a lot to me. But, the effort of keeping the relationship alive is sky rocketing! Once he told me that he can’t talk to me whenever he wants because I am married. Earlier he did not have to do the thinking before calling me up. Suddenly my identity is the problem. What’s wrong in talking to a married girl like you used to? I don't know!

Women are always judged by their identity. A woman is always someone's daughter or someone's wife! Isn't it unfair befriending an identity instead of a real person? Can a woman never have friends? Or are they all just short lived? I would just say its lack of passion and commitment in everything people indulge in. Friendships don't have any value I would say, may be because they are immaterial.

It takes so long to build something as beautiful as friendship and there are really only a handful of friends who you can have for life. And when you have made such friends, friends who you feel proud of having, you just lose them because your second name changed! Nonsense I say. But that's how it is, good or bad.

We make real friends at school. That’s when we are ourselves. They know what we are and what we became. They can keep the original self alive and recognize us the way we were at school. It’s a pity that all that has to change because of something very silly! 

I miss my friend today. How I wish my friendship was cherished the way I cherish his friendship!

Pain…..

In life you love a lot of people from all your heart. You want to see them happy and healthy. You are blessed if at least half of the people you love are happy.

It is extremely painful to see someone suffer heart-breaks and disappointments and feel helpless.

It is extremely painful to know that you can do nothing about their misery, but still have to watch them come past their bad times. Did I say ‘come past’? I wish they come past all the bad times in just a few seconds, but it takes longer when you desperately want things to get better.

Life is sadistic I feel. When there is a reason for you to feel happy, something goes terribly wrong for you and the people around.

I have realized that it is important for people you love to be happy in life for you to be happy.

My parents are having a bad time. I am surprised at how I am writing such a negative and personal thing on a blog! But that’s how disturbed I am. I am a very inexpressive girl right from childhood. My silence has cost me a lot of things, well not things, relationships. I can never express. I don’t feel bad about it, that’s who I am. People who really care do know what I am.

I love my dad. He is a great man, a very good person at heart. I have always looked up to him. But, have I expressed this to him? No. I can never speak fancy. From my childhood I have only heard people complain about him, say things about him etc., this has hurt me a lot, but it has only made my love for him stronger. I know he is a great man and the best dad one could ever get.

I love my mother equally. If I am what I am, it’s because of her. She has taught me life’s most important lessons and some people love me for who I am at heart. She is an ideal person, one who is strong enough to stand by her principles even when she knows she is falling, falling real low. Respect is what I have for her.

It is very hard to see them unhappy, harder to know that I can’t help. I can only pray for good times. But, belief in God and hopes for a better future are very tricky things. It’s extremely hard to hold on to your beliefs and have hopes!! But do I have an option? Sadly, no.

The mesmerising voice of KJ Yesudas…

There are so many legendary singers in the world. But one voice does not fail to touch my soul every single time.. It’s the voice of Shri KJ Yesudas. The love for such an awesome voice has always been there within me, even as a child I would enjoy listening to him. Over the years the love for his voice has only grown strong and the happiness I feel when I hear him sing is beyond explanation.

As a child I have heard Yesudas sing a lot of Carnatic music. I owe a lot to my dad who introduced me to good music. I particularly remember listening to “Krishna nee begane baaro”, the only rendition of the song I really like; I cannot enjoy this song by anyone else. I think that was the first song I enjoyed of Yesudas.  There is one more album of his  - “Tribute to Jawaharlal Nehru”.  It is a collection of classical, devotional and patriotic songs. There is one song I really enjoy – “Krishan deewani” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBfTovgt5dQ. This is a meera bhajan, but the  lyric is different. Its Krishna singing to His ‘Deewaani’ Meera and not the other way round. The song is beautiful and in Yesudas’s voice, its just magic. All songs in this album are just great and I keep listening to them often. I have heard it so often that I can play the songs in my mind and feel like I am listening to them. Thanks to my dad, that’s how frequently we had music playing in my house.

Of his other devotional albums, I really like “Mayilpeeli” – A collection of Guruvayurappan songs. http://www.musicindiaonline.com/album/154-Malayalam_Devotional/19969-Mayilpeeli/#/album/154-Malayalam_Devotional/19969-Mayilpeeli/. The song “ Guruvayuppa Ninmunnil” is my favourite.

The Ayyappan song “Harivarasanam” needs no introduction! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcQCkkVKC5w .  It should be an honour for Yesudas to have this song played every night in sabarimala temple. What a blessing! Nobody can make this song what it is, I bet. Listening to this song is pure bliss.

As I grew up, I started to listen to his film songs. So many melodious songs to his name! I cannot mention all of my favourites, here are a few : Raja raja chozhan naan, deivam thandha veedu, amma endrazhaikkadha, sendhazham poovil, mookkuthi poo mele, Un paarvayil, Paartha vizhi paarthapadi, Gangai karai mannanadi and much more.

He has a very unique voice. My dream is to meet him and tell him how much I love his music and voice. This mellifluous voice just celebrated his 72^nd birthday and I wish this Legend a long, prosperous and healthy life.

Raavanan - the movie, the way I saw it

 Raavanan – a battle between the good and the bad. Supposedly so. The movie changes your perspective about the two. Lets you wonder who in the movie was portrayed as good and who was portrayed as bad. Atleast to me this was the case.

I did not watch the movie in the shadows of the epic Ramayana at all. I did not read any fancy reviews. I would say I had no prejudice about the movie. I wonder what the director was thinking about the script.

What is the movie about? Its about two men, Veera – a goon that ruled a whole locality and had the love of the people there and Dev Prakash – a Super Intendent of Police that came to wipe out Veera’s empire for all the charges he had against the law. There sure is a background of why there is a battle between the two. Veera abducts Dev’s wife, Raagini and in search of her Dev sets off with a motive to bring Veera down into pieces.

The journey begins for Dev in search of Veera into a dense forest with the help of a Forest officer – Gnyana Prakasam (If am not wrong) who knows the forest in and out. Dev has a whole pack of army officials and police officers to back him up for this operation to put an end to Veera and get Raagini back.

While this is the plot of the script, there is more to the movie in terms of how it is related to the epic, if at all it really is related. Obviously, there is a Raavanan in the movie, a Raam and a Seetha also. Well, there is more I would say, there is a vibheeshana, a Hanuman and a shoorpanaki. There could have been more in the movie which I could just have missed noticing.

Veera : He is called Raavanan in the movie. Well, the director hasn’t shown anything bad about this character. Whatever he does is justified and in a way I started to feel he isn’t bad at all. He develops a liking towards Raagini and expresses it in a very straight, respectful and dignified manner. The director has portrayed Raavanan and his ten heads as ten different voices in Veera’s head. Veera is portrayed as a very crude but loyal and pristine character.

Raagini : She is abducted by Veera and initially comes across as an angry women who is so against Veera’s involving the women in the battle. She calls it cowardice and it sure is pretty convincing. Her opinion about Veera changes over time and she starts to feel the bad is slowly turning out to be good and she in a way is struggling to take a side.

Dev : Dev  is related to Raama in the movie. Its very obvious that Dev is associated to Raama and the reason being Veera is the one who abducts Raagini and she happens to be Dev’s wife, just like in the Raamayana Seetha is abducted by Raavana.  I have to mention, Dev is portrayed as a ruthless, angry Police officer whose only motive is to kill Veera. There is nothing Godly about this character except for his looks.

Now for how I saw these three characters. To me, Raama means good and Raavana means bad. This is very basic. There are always degrees of good and bad anyway. So lets just say Raama is a person who is more good than he is bad and Raavana is a person who is more bad than he is good. Veera is portrayed as a good person and all he does is justified in every possible way. Dev on the other hand is shown as a person who is merciless and cunning and shows no respect to a word he gave to someone. He kills Veera’s younger brother after speaking sweet to him and promising him he wont kill him if he comes in front of him.

I am left with a basic question after watching the movie. Whom did the director try to portray as Raavanan? Dev or Veera? To me it was Dev. I was convinced that he was Raavanan and infact even expected him to die in the hands of Veera. The movie did not end that way but if Raama meant good and a person who treated his men with respect and took care of them, it was Veera to me. If Raavana meant bad and a person whose motive was important to him more than anything else, it was Dev to me.

This could completely be a different way to see it, but if we forget Raavana had ten heads and Raama’s wife was abducted by Raavana, this is how the movie would come across as.

Some songs I love.......

Music makes my mind active! People say music can be relaxing, but for me, its something that wakes me up and makes my thoughts sprint. I am not complaining though. Its wonderful how my mind starts to assume or imagine the mood of the song that’s playing, the nature of the rhythm, the choice of the instruments, the lead singer and of course the lyric! I start to think of all this when I listen to any kind of song and to my surprise, I arrive at some amusing theories about the song and if someone asked me how I arrived at it, I would give bizarre explanations! I thought it would be nice if I could write my unusual explanations to why I love a particular song. Read on…

There are a few songs that are very much apt for a situation. Love songs, sad songs, songs that show different kinds of situations. I have a few songs which I feel are a perfect match to the situation, not only with the lyric of the song, but also with the kind of mood the music creates. Even if you did not know the exact situation of the song in the movie, you’d be able to guess the situation if you heard the song! This might sound weird but that’s how I feel about a few songs.

Omana Penne – Vinnai thaandi Varuvaya: This song is the most beautiful song I heard off late. It is about a guy who is smitten by the pretty woman he just cannot resist admiring. The rhythm of the song is soft and continuous which makes you sway along with it. The music does not outshine the rhythm progression, it is all within the limits so nothing distracts you from swaying to the beat. The lead singer’s voice has a coarse edge to it, which to me seems like he is irresistibly in love with the woman being portrayed on screen. Does this match with the situation of the song in the movie? YES! That is why I love this song.

Thangathaamarai magale – Minsaara Kanavu: Well, what can I say about this brilliant song? It is a singer’s song and SPB has done such a great job with this one. The lead is the hero of the song. If you have noticed, nothing goes beyond the male lead. The background score and the rhythm is so well blended that, you can, with no distractions concentrate on the voice and still feel the presence of the life the background music creates in the song! SPB has accentuated this song perfectly! It sounds like a man who is just about to grab the lady of his dreams in real and tell her that he is crazily in love with her. He is trying to resist, but cant. The music, the singing and the situation – a perfect match!

Kannukkul Kannai – Vinnai thaandi Varuvaya: Love this song. The music makes me feel there is some chase in the song. There is restlessness, craving, anger, love and much more that cant really be explained! The song is fast and the music is brilliant. The choice of instruments and the beat give me a feeling that there is so much expression in the song, which translates to me as restlessness. The singer’s voice and the way he has accentuated the song gives me a feeling of craving and in some places anger! The song over all is chirpy, which makes me imagine that it is about someone young. It does match with the situation.

Bombay – theme music: There is a flute lead in the song. The music is elevated; the flute gives a sober feel to it. The background music when the flute is leading is dormant. This sets the mood of the song – sadness and disappointment. The background music slowly picks up making you feel like there is more to the sadness, it is not about a single person, there are more people that relate to the sadness! And towards the end of the song, the lead, the background, everything is well blended and makes you feel there is some kind of agreement to the sadness or in other words it seems to me like the music these instruments are making are empathizing with each other!! And what is brilliant about this song is that it is instrumental and the absence of the lyric is not felt. Wonderful, isn’t it?

There are many more songs which I love for they convey what they should and it is understood in the right way! I am not sure if I was successful in penning down everything that was there in my mind but I tried!